Tuesday 16 October 2012

Where are we?


Where are we? That's a good question. At the moment I'm quite sure that some of us don't have a clue where we are. 2012 hasn't been our best year yet, for some of us it's been going pretty well but a few of us are finding it a struggle and that's why you haven't seen us for a while. I'm not going to go into detail, some of it is extremely personal but The Intellectual Dinner Club has had to be temporarily suspended. I know, I can't believe it either for years we kept it going even when we were scrounging for pennies, it's like we are Girls Aloud...we haven't actually split up but we don't know when we'll be back either; I wouldn't mind but we're not even working on solo projects...although Caroline is doing really well with Caddy Slims...I guess she's Cheryl Cole then! The Intellectual Dinner Club's purpose was to get us through the difficult times and inspire us but to be honest times have got a little too difficult and even The Intellectual Dinner Club isn't strong enough to pull us out of this grump. Still, we have set ourselves a goal...we are booked in to the 3 Acres at Christmas to treat ourselves after a tumultuous year. There will be no theme but we certainly will be mulling over the year, having a bitch and trying to take something positive from 2012 in to (what I pray will be a better year) 2013.

For me, I think those of you following the blog will know about my year and it doesn't seem to be getting much better. Right now I'm back in my childhood home following the death of my Father caring for my Mum who has just been diagnosed with Cancer. I can't quite believe it...it's our unluckiest year yet! My husband and I have moved in to my old bedroom, surrounded by my old things...a ratty Bagpuss, a bag full of old Boyzone, Roxette and Take That programs...which my husband has decided to pretend doesn't exist. Yesterday I stumbled upon my old memory box which is crammed full of silly things I hung on to as a child; my old Brownie uniform; notes that my friends and I passed to each other in class; finger puppets; old cinema and concert tickets; a letter from my Grandma; a shot glass I ended up walking home with after a night out at University and a rude birthday card that my friend sent me when I was sixteen. It's amazing how many things I have hung on to, and as silly as they may seem I can't seem to part with them, each item triggered a different memory...a happy memory. When I started to clear my Dad's things I discovered that we were more alike than I thought. He'd kept the bill from his honeymoon, which cost just £4.50 and the paperwork from the purchase of our family home, which cost less than a 4x4 car; school reports; his first job contract...I was surprised because I didn't know that my Dad was so sentimental.

Living at home hasn't been so bad but I miss my own home. I miss walking to our local farm shop on a lazy Sunday afternoon; the beautiful countryside and even the smell of cow poo from the nearby farm. But most of all I miss my friends, I miss meeting up with my fellow witches and having a gossip, I miss the challenge of the themes we used to set ourselves, the excitement of getting ready, picking out an outfit and sitting in the warmth of a cosy restaurant whilst we relax and have a little bitch. Each of my friends have such amazing qualities that just seem to bring out the best in me, when I see them I can forget my problems and return home with a smile on my face. I miss them so much and not knowing when the next time I'll see them will be always makes me sad. I may not feel like the most sociable person at the moment but if I could have one thing next year just for me then it would be to have The Intellectual Dinner Club back...new and improved! It kept me going, it inspired me and I miss it.